It´s all a load of hot air. Competition time.

I´ve always found Meteorology a bit perplexing. This is particularly worrying as I have been known to teach a bit of geography in my time. Just before I discovered www.magicseaweed.com, www.wetsand.com etc I used to attempt to predict swell myself and when it would arrive and from what direction. This I have to say I managed with some success and beat the coconut wireless a few times.

What I never managed to get my head around was the wind direction that would come with it. Yes I know the wind follows the isobars, I have been told a million times but when I look at the map I just get all "I can´t deal with this".

English surfers know wind, to be more exact we know that South Westerlies and Westerlies are toilet, South Westerlies can be dealt with in Cornwall with a big to huge swell and a once a year huge south based swell will let a few south coast harbour walls operate but they are generally to be despised and unfortunately dominate. Now I can´t believe that a wind that takes up well in excess of over a hundred days a year has no name! Every seafaring country seems to have nicknames for their winds, and Britain doesn´t! As a point of interest during the First World War, Germans who developed poison gas first, didn´t maximise its usage because the prevailing sou´wester blew the gas back in their faces......and still no nickname!

Winds of the World:

Northerly: The Norte along the Mexican Coast or the Brickfielder of South OZ.

North Easterly: Matanuska of Alaska or Papagagayu of Nicaragua.

North Westerly: The Maestro of the Adriatic.

Easterly: The Leste of the Canaries or The Sundowner of California.

Westerly: The Mistral of France or Pampero of Argentina.

South Easterly: The Cape Doctor of Cape Town, RSA or Suestado of Uruguay.

South Westerly: The Kona of Hawaii.

Southerly: The Elephanta of the Malabar coast of India or Sirocco of Southern Europe from the Sahara.

Any offers for the South Westerly of England?