Spine findings by Chiropractor

I haven´t surfed since mid July. The longest period without a surf since Tomo first showed me the light in his Ice Cream van in Scarborough, North East England 1997.

I´ve had four back spasms this year, each one has been followed by various treatments such as Osteopaths, Shiatsu massage, assorted chiro´s lots of physiotherapy etc. The latest findings by Artur Gardinalli at Quirovida (my spanish isn´t great but if that means Chirolife, that is defos the worst name I can think of) www.quirovida.com are enclosed in the photo´s. My right pelvis is 2 cm lower than my left...which is a lot when you look at the X-rays. I have subluxations in a load of vertebrae starting at the top neck my C1 all the way down to my s4 that sits on the sacrum.

Now I have pre existing injuries from my Bali days when an obsene amount of surfing combined with hitting a pot hole that looked like it was created by a nuclear bomb and then sneezing (definately missed my one eighth of an orgasm on that one) lead to problems. But it would seem that the reason for this is either I have a short right leg and therefore will need a fake heal in my shoe to stop un necessary wear on the right sided joints or it is a twisted sacrum. The chances are its both! yeah! Since Brazilian Artur started snapping me around like a character from "Strictly Come Dancing" I have lost the shooting pains and the constant pain but developed soreness around the groin, hip, thigh area. I am hoping this is caused by a release of parts of my body that have been working too hard for too long in less than ideal circumstances (A bit like my job). Anyway change is happening and it certainly feels for the better.

However there is another issue here in back care. The original specialist that I was kind enough to give 1000 dollars of wonger to failed to both diagnose this problem or affect change. In fact add the inconvenience of 2 trips through thick Lima traffic a week into the bargain, I am going to give the "San Borja spinal Unit" the big thumbs down. Nice people, crap doctors, extremely expensive and I was stood up twice by Physio´s not turning up....booooooo!

Shiatsu, If your sore from stress and/or surfing definately worth a go. The ladies name escapes me but she comes to your house with her matt for 70 soles she is very firm and always leaves me needing the toilet for about three days her number in Lima is 999931182 and I would have no hesitation recommending her...but she doesn´t manipulate and I think that is what I need. Proper massage though, not a pretty girl with some oil.

Carlos the Physio 999936818, bit on the puny side for my liking. Relaxing massage, some stretches but the dude is like 5ft 2 inches and when he goes to manipulate, which is rare, he seems to nearly break his arms on the gringo......beef up mate, nice guy may be if your a chick or not a beef cake.

So I´m back in the land of Chiropracters, some are better than others. Daniel the Ethiopoian, in Miraflores may have actually caused my 2nd back spasm......a chiro without x rays may be cheap, but from now on.....my advice "Not with my centre of nerve control pal"

Lots of people are scared of Chiro´s and the cracks etc.....a good one though and when he cracks me.....I´m getting the orgasms back....quietly addictive I reckon. Artur said I´d surf my summer away and I believe him. The Yoga continues, now I just need to knock the fags on the head and lose the riduclous amount of weight I´ve gained.

Ashes to ashes dust to dust

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Ozzie departure from Peruvian shores leaves community devastated.

So the headline should read. It´s a special bond that is forged in a modern male surfing relationship....issues of punctuality, choice of break, whose paying for what...and .....sod that...what a load of arse, we went to chicam , it went off and we loved it! That´the truth, Ozzie got the best barrel, I fucked my feet up and we had the best time.











The only shot I could find was your last wave at La Isla , no frills or spills, no bikini clad women applauding, no form, just like your cricket team, I guess it must just be for the love of it.

Its a surgical operation losing a partner like that...brutal.

Surf Invention "The Wurzzle"

The Pumpkin and myself in a wondrous period of creativity and escape from a terrible flat spell and horrendous student behaviour, came up with "The Wurzzle", which although not the first of its kind was unique in its mounting system, which was detachable and based on generic back racks. I guess by publishing this here I am kind of blowing our chances of making our millions, but I have a feeling that its all good.

We progressed to usability with a few hiccups, it was great when the screws sheered off on the A38 roundabout during an emit fest but problem was quickly rectified, without a pipe bender though you can forget production but I spoke to people who could and even spoke to a windsurf sail maker who thought that draining waterproof panniers on the other side for wetsuits was feasible...You know what may be I should get back to it..that was a great idea and so fun....it´s just a shame that cornwall is so bloody hilly. It would be all time on the flat though.

FITNESS WHEN FLAT.wt

Staying in shape is an issue at the moment 4 months out of the water with a twisted hips/sacrum and more subluxations than Peru has goals in the Copa America means that a few extra pounds have appeared and a relaxing of my bulging six pack. However it looks like with the new chiro (loving you Arthur at the moment), yoga, swimming and a bit of this and that, I should be mounting up again soon. Just thought I´d share some fitness thoughts.

When I first damaged my back I could only walk for 10 -20 minutes at a time and then I´d have to lie with my knees bent to take the pressure off, over time I strengthened this and found that by far the worst position was sitting. Fishing proves a gentle way of rebuilding the stabilizers and getting out.

Cycling has pluses and minuses, bent over a racing bike is not recommended for the tall and dodgey spined but an upright position such as mountain biking is a welcome change for the back. Cycling is one of the few sports that rounds your back muscles the ones around the lumbar below the rib cage, as opposed to surfing when the spine sits deeper than the muscle wall. So cycle tall and proud. I even managed to persuade Humphry Davy School in Penzance to get a group of kids together to ride John O Groats to Lands End....did it in 16 days, though it definately doesn´t make you light on your feet.

Kayaking on the sea is bliss to me. Cornwall is the home of the cove and every nook and cranny can be explored. You can fish, catch waves, paddle to the pub, watch sun sets, race, cruise, explore.....I´m sure Stand Up Paddleboarding is great fun and I´d love to try it.....but the Kayak rocks. Cheers Chav for leaving it...sit on tops are easy to use and you can buy them all with the fishing gear if you desire (I recommend it) or you can convert it yourself the videa at http://www.kayakfishnation.com/?p=12 should be pretty idiot proof...I managed it! You can buy mounts in any reputable Kayak retailer and ebay.

The Pumpkin who became a land lubber in a sad loss to marriage and the states is building his own Canadian Open top , check it out at ...what´s the address Pumpkin? Can´t work this out? I´ll get back to it.

Morocco

I dreamed of going to Morocco for years....long rights, mystical, desert, arabic, markets and mosques. I have the fondest memories of the Muezzin call to prayer from my time in Indonesia (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAvlimEYEpQ) and a slightly less spiritual infatuation for belly dancers.

Finally after many a year an apartment was secured on Anchor Point, right on it, fourth floor. Heidi could sunbathe and photograph from the baclony..........perfect. Not a ripple in nearly two weeks. I hear the next week was the swell of the winter and Woody I hope you enjoyed it .. really not a lot of bitterness here, no not much at all, I´ve forgotten about it really.

Still I had the best time, I want to go back not to Taghazoute but may be a road trip, spend some time up north where I have a little secret to check that a gypsy told me..who knows?

I know the shark is dead, but that is as close as I could get.....

The camel driver didn´t speak french but I gather that he was selling his camels at a market in Agadir but had arrived a week early, he had no water or food at all...it seems that in times of need a letting of blood from the neck quenches the thirst....hmmm not so sure. Lovely chap though.

In the fig tree is a man, an old man, it was impossible to get the perspective right for me, the tre is hugs easily 50 foot, he shinned up there and cut the figs (or are they dates?), he was shouting at me for a long time, before I realised where he was. Paradise Valley, boootiful.

Essaouira market scene, the town that Hendrix bought...whatta knob.

The fixer was a real nice guy, he had a story to tell and i loved to listen.

Cornishtimes

Some Pictures from the G spot, West Cornwall.

The picture of myself and The Pumpkins back

One of my favourite pictures. I don´t know how many times I´ve done this with "The Pumpkin", I can hear the conversation now, I´ll call a bank, the pumpkin won´t say much for a while....I already know I´ve lost and then he will systematically destroy the banks reputation, at least he favours rights not like Golden balls.

Tasting notes: The Randy French Surftech fish

6ft 6 x 21 x 2.5



I borrowed one from the demo centre at Watergate bay (good on ya, no fee, no credit card number, just smiles) and took it out in really good rights. Having been stuck on boards missing volume for so long it was a breath of fresh air. It´s a strange material and super buoyant. It catches waves really easily, it covers flat sections in a way I didn´t know a board of that size could. The buoyancy makes a lot more sense in winter with the 5mm monkey on your back and the boots et al.

I was straight into the shop (their the kind of people I wanna hand over dosh too) and had bought the thing before the bank manager could even guess I was smashing the account again 465 quid.....at least she won´t snap after three surfs, strong as an ox and lighter than a feather.

I´ve had her a while now and in english fat waves she goes and that should probably be enough. I took her out at double over head and closing out Porthtowan and realised this was no situation for her to be in....not her remit, Tom Curran might be able to ride one at maxing Mentawais in "In search of Tom Curran" but not me.

It seems inconceivable having started this piece that I have her up for sale on the vendertablaperu website for a poultry 300 dollars. I guess that comes from the fact I haven´t really enjoyed riding her here. I thought left hand long points would suit her but not so much , I can´t put her on a rail she´s quite skittish in that respect and I can´t carve with satisfaction rather she just flips round with no torque, her rails are real fat. She likes to go straight and fast not top to bottom.

I guess the sensible thing is to send her home to England to await my return .....